When my diaper is changed, you have my permission to die.

Isn’t it unfortunate that lives of parenting and fearlessly saving the world don’t work hand-in-hand more often? (The Incredibles more an exception than rule.) This is really the next mommy-war that needs to be waged: making more space in our society for super-hero parents. Until that happens we will just have to keep creating super-power wish lists and dream of the day when we can literally, rather than emotionally, crawl the walls.

So here are my first round picks for the super powers/paraphernalia I would choose to help me in the battle to save (my) humanity…

Harry Potter’s Invisibility cloak: For when I need to sneak in to pop Z’s pacifier back in her mouth during the night or naptime. Not that I do that a lot, because I don’t because I know that pacifier dependence leads to a whole host of other problems. Like…you know…stuff.


Dash Parr’s Super-speed: Because it wouldn’t be such a big deal if I left Zo at home for 10 seconds of grocery shopping. People get all snarky when it’s over an hour…


Wonder Woman’s Omni-Linguism: Being able to understand which of Zo’s 12 (and counting) “MiMi’s” she wants to snuggle with on the first try would add months back to my life.

Batman’s creepy low voice: So technically not a super power. Still, useful for when she isn’t taking me seriously. Because we all took Christian Bale more seriously when he- oh…I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!



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